I decided not to fight the snooze button today. If my body wants sleep I'll give it sleep. I set the alarm for 9:30 but turned it off. Got out of bed feeling pretty good at 10. Not as lively as I was last week, but better than the past few days. Today's my last day on Prednisone. When I tell people I'm taking 100mg a day they assume I'm bouncing off the walls with energy. Guess that's a testament to how weak and tired the chemo makes me because I am definitely not full of energy. DW says he's only been up to 60mg, you have to know DW, but that really drives the point home. I saw him at the office today where he also shared a story about a friend who had NHL, had beaten it and was 2 weeks from going back to work when he got the flu. They couldn't get his fever under control and he passed away. Could've gone without that story. I've been pretty safe, but I've definitely put myself in some situations that maybe I should have avoided. On the other hand you can't live your life scared to leave the house.

Today I went to the Hackensack Cancer Center to make sure they'd gotten the paperwork they needed for me to take classes there. They hadn't. So the lady at reception made some calls and sent some emails for me to see if anyone had gotten the paperwork. I left and went to Lowes to buy an air conditioner. Stopped by my Dads house to look for the paperwork, turns out he had it at the office. That's how I wound up there. Dropped the paperwork by the cancer center on the way home, figured I was too late for the 2pm class, but the teacher was just walking in so I got to take the class. Nobody else showed up at first so we had this one on one class. I felt a little uncomfortable at first but was able to get into it. The lady that was teaching was very sweet. If I had to guess she didn't have any kind of certification and I think she said she'd only been doing yoga for 3 years but whatever. She wanted to help other people and I enjoyed the class. I wouldn't have stretched for an hour at home by myself. Halfway through an older man came in. He was a bit confused (in general I think) and stood out like a sore thumb in a yoga class (he was wearing suspenders, a yamaca, slacks, and a tucked in button down shirt) but he was trying something new so you gotta give him credit.

It's 5:30 now, I don't know what I want to do but I don't want to sit in front of the tv anymore. I'm running out of ideas of things to do with my time. I guess I'll try to do some reading.

I fought the snooze button again this morning, and lost again. I hit snooze from 8:30 to 10:30. I don't know why I was waking up naturally an hour before my alarm last week, and now I can't get out of bed this week, and I'm not really happy about it. Needless to say I didn't make it to yoga at 11. There are some things I just can't control though, I have to listen to my body and if it says "rest" than I'm going to rest. It was screaming "rest" today. My stomach was a mess, Crohn's style. This time there was no Colace involved. Maybe it was food poisoning. I'd say something I ate didn't agree with me, but I'm tracking everything I eat and I haven't had anything out of the ordinary. It finally settled down and I fell asleep for a solid 4 hours on the couch. I just woke up about 30 mins ago and even though its pretty late in the afternoon (5:30) part of me still thinks this whole day doesn't have to go to waste, I can go do something, but another part of me wants to go back to sleep.

Feeling great today... until I decided to take my dads road bike out. I needed to rest up and compose myself after pumping up the tires, then I had to catch my breath after riding it to the end of the block and back. Can't wait for this to be over.

Atleast my minds in the right place.

I checked out the yoga schedule for tomorrow so I don't decide I want to go 10 minutes before the class starts (again), looking forward to that.

Hit snooze from 8:30 to 10:30...
Not sure what the problem was, I went to sleep early enough yesterday. Before I started this blog I used to write in my journal that it's a "do not want to participate day." I've got some coffee in me now (11:10am). I'll have to make a to do list bc its way too nice out to let this day go to waste.

Nauseas? Take a pill, wait 10 minutes, all good.

I wonder if I can get these for those nights I have a few too many after all this is over?

I never know what to expect after a treatment. Thankfully this time went well. The day of and after I let myself go, eat whatever I want, don't even try to exercise. Thanks Mike for getting me to Yoga today, just what I needed to get back on my diet and start thinking healthy again. Yesterday I may have eaten 5 ice cream sandwiches but today the food journal is back.

Someone asked me the other day if going through this makes the world seem different. My only answer at the time was I'll never go back to working like I was, the stress has the be what got me sick."

But with that question in the back of my head somewhere while I've gone throughout last treatment I've realized it's changed me in a much more profound way. Every moment counts. I want to make the most out of everyday, and when I'm sick in bed or so fatigued all I can do is watch tv, I'm really unhappy about it. I don't have any choice but to accept it, but I want to get out and live again.

9pm, headache, nausea, fatigue, hot flashes, ugghhhh

Mild headache too.
Took at zofran at 5 to prevent nausea.

4:19
Still haven't crashed. Actually came home, did some revisions to a job I'm working on, put the files on a flash drive, and drive them to the office. Saw Deb, one of my favorite customers which inspired me to stop by and see Joe R on the way home. I find myself really missing my customers sometimes, even the most annoying of them (you know who you are). Mike, Matt, Chuck, Keith, Amy, Frank, David - I'm thinking of you guys. Hope all is going well.